Arrghhh! I’m turning into my mother!
Alternative title: The kids these days just don’t have ANY respect!
I’ve noticed lately how much has changed since I was a teenager.
(insert old lady voice) Back in my day (/old lady voice) we tended to care about the feelings of the company we were in and acted accordingly. For example, if we were in earshot of some older people (really, older as in 25 or up and DEFINITELY if the older people were over, say 40) we would hush up our swearing, so they wouldn’t hear.
Nowadays though, you see the kids walking around the streets swearing at the top of their voices without giving a crap about who can hear them.
The “c” word is one that I find really offensive. I happen to hang out in an internet community at the moment that is predominantly composed of young guys, between the ages of say, 15 and 25. There are a few older members though; I am not the only one, although I am probably the oldest woman there.
I don’t have a problem with swearing, after all, I do it myself! There’s sure a lot of swearing goes on in that group I hang out with and I would expect it, considering the age-group. The one word I cringe at though, is the “c” word.
I have let them know how I feel about it (and most of the people care enough not to type it), but there’s the odd one or two that persist in using the “c” word, either on purpose because they know I don’t like it, or they are so self-absorbed that they don’t give a shit about how anyone else feels.
As I said, all but one or 2 of the group members refrain from using the word, just because I told them I really don’t like it, but what do I make of those that don’t?
Am I wrong in expecting people to consider my feelings at all? I would have thought that if you don’t hate someone, you would do what they asked, just because they asked (it’s not like I was asking something difficult was it?)
Is it because kids these days are so totally self absorbed that it is “me, me, me, all about me and screw everyone else”? Are they purposely seeking to upset people (and why would they actually DO that)? Don’t their parents teach them that stuff any more when they are kids? Is American TV to blame? Guys, I know some of you read this, do you expect me to just shut up and take it? Why?
Well now that I have that annoying comment captcha code thingy gooooooone, you’ll have no problem saying what you think, so go ahead!
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damaged_one wrote,
It’s not just kids. One thing that really annoys me is when somebody swears in a professional capacity. Like the plumber who is at your house and you’ve never met him before and he swears like a sailor. It seems very unprofessional, and when that happens they never get my business again.
Link | February 18th, 2006 at 2:57 am
The Grumpy One wrote,
Yeah, I think it’s the same thing. Being aware of the company you’re in when you’re swearing.
I can let fly with the “F” word too, but for instance, when I am with my parents, not one swear word comes out of my mouth. I don’t think an excuse of “I don’t even realise that I’m swearing” would cut it for me.
Link | February 18th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Tsutako wrote,
I tend to hold my language with whoever I’m with until I know what they’re comfortable with or they swear first. Interestingly enough, despite mum nearly murdering me the first time I accidentally used the “F” word.. she now uses it more often than I do.
I’d never swear at work, and in older not-work company I tend to keep it to the ‘light’ stuff like “bugger” and “damn”.
But yeah, I don’t normally tend to swear loudly or heavily when wandering around in public, I do try to pay attention to who’s around.
On another note, as a checkout chick in a village surrounded by three retirement villages, I serve a LOT of old people. And no matter what you say about older people and younger people and their respective manners, I often find young people more polite. I have been treated like a piece of dirt by far more old people than young people, and I am extremely polite at work to everyone.
Weird, huh? :P
Link | February 21st, 2006 at 10:46 am
Andrew Parsons wrote,
I don’t think of these two questions as being glued at the hip. The second question, my reaction was “no, of course not. If you asked me to be polite I would because I like respecting other people’s feelings.” however the first question made me think, “hmm, yes, it’s a bit rich to ask other people to change their lifestyle to suit your own.”
It would be like someone asking you to say grace before eating every meal because that’s what they do - should you respect them enough to sit in silence while grace is said, or dig in and eat, or somewhere in between?
I think you need to look at other situations of similar context and see how you would react in those - that would give you a good idea of how to react in the ones that don’t appear to clearcut.
So - yes, you should be able to ask people to not say the ‘c’ word. Yes, if they respect you enough, they will probably refrain. But possibly no, they shouldn’t be necessarily penalised if they don’t stop it, particularly if they are not close to you.
Dunno…
Link | February 28th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
The Grumpy One wrote,
Andy,
I guess it is about manners and the use of the C word in particular.
I would assume that it is widely accepted that the “c” word is a particularly bad form of swearing, and that most women don’t like it.
All I am asking is what happened to the days when guys would be polite when women are around? I was also asking that in that particular environment, especially when I asked, would it be too much of a stretch for them to not say it? I know I might appear selfish with the request, but am I really? At the end of the day, it boils down to whether a person decides to offend someone or not. Effectively by saying it, they choose to offend. Why?
Link | February 28th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
andy wrote,
English language changes all the time. I was reading a fantasy book the other day and the ‘c’ word was used in a quite normal sentence, without any kind of offense meant. Certainly in today’s version of English it is intended to be offensive, but if it’s so ingrained in someone’s vocabulary, should we allow them some leeway for the odd slip?
Link | March 1st, 2006 at 2:49 am